Remus J Lupin (fragmented_blue) wrote in midnight__clear,
Remus J Lupin

  • Mood:
Who: Remus Lupin and Evan Rosier
When: Midnight
Where: The Hospital Wing
Warnings: None.

Evan looked so small when he slept, so helpless. Even against the starched linens, with their faint hint of bleach, he looked pale. Remus swallowed hard, he knew about the boy's problems, he had been told, and he did nothing. At first he didn't believe it, but the whole school knew by now. "The freak finally did it, or at least he tried. He can't do anything right. I wish he had, it would have been one less day we had to see his face." How could they be so cruel? Evan didn't deserve this, none of it. Remus sat down gently on the white bed, trying his best not to disturb the sleeping form. Ignoring the bandages, or attempting to, he wrapped his own hand around the pale, immobile one next to it, rubbing his thumb over its surface. "Why can't you see yourself the way I do? For who you really are." he whispered to the sleeping boy.

Evan's expression, though stoic for the most part during slumber, was lined with a very fraint frown, eyelashes twitching against dreaming eyes. He dreamt of darkness, a deep void that he wished to be part of, because he knew that once word got around, once he was out of the hospital, he would be branded the Kid Who Tried To Kill Himself, and Failed. Perhaps if he stayed asleep for long enough he'd fall into that void, or... everyone would forget what happened. They would continue uncaring, like they used to do.

Remus let go of the boy's hand, only to wipe his eyes. Part of him wanted to wake Evan up, but the other, more rational half, knew he needed to sleep. Either way, he wouldn't be leaving, how could he leave his friend alone now? "How could you do this to yourself?" he asked angrily, although he knew there would be no response. "You're worth more than death, you're not a coward. This was though."

Evan's eyelashes twitched once more - he had always been a light sleeper. He had to be, growing up in a household like his. His fingers moved slightly, curling around the bedsheets, faint moan escaping his lips as the soft voice penetrated his sleeping mind.

Remus squeezed Evan's hand as he stirred, making soft hushing noises. "It's alright." he murmured, bending down and kissing his forehead lightly. "It's alright." he repeated, straightening and biting his lip.

Evan blinked his eyes open against the gentle pressure on his forehead, squinting up at the dark figuire. "Regulus?" he breathed hoarsely, blinking a few more times before blushing profusely. Not Regulus. "Remus," he corrected in the same rough tone, making it sound like he had swallowed razorblades.

Remus blushed, nodding. "I didn't want to wake you," he said apologetically, releasing his lips from the teeth that held them. He wanted to ask how he was, but the answer was obvious, and he was sure Evan would lie. He didn't know what to say. "You should have told me." that wasn't right though, Remus thought with a frown. "No, I should have listened."

Evan frowned, confused. As far as he was concerned, Remus did listen. Would always listen, and never judge. "L-listen to what?" he asked. He tried to sit up in the bed, wincing as he bent his wrists, still weak, as he pushed against the matress. The bandages and tape crackled over the sheets, reminding him of how very white and sterile this place was. It was... creepy.

"To you." he answered, thinking it was obvious. "I never expected you to do this. Maybe," he began, faltering. "Maybe I should have. There were signs, there had to be, and I ignored them." Remus looked away, staring at the glass bottle he had placed on the night table. "I'm sorry."

"You couldn't have helped me," Evan whispered, looking down at the white sheets, picking at the bandage of his left arm. "No one could've." He paused for a long moment, resting his head against the rung of the hospital bed as he peered sideways out of the window behind him and into the midnight sky. "My father's dead," he said slowly, stonily. He licked his lips, very slowly, and waited for his own tears, that followed only a few seconds later, running hot trails down his cheeks and under his chin.

Remus blanched, not prepared for what Evan had just said. In all the gossip that had spread around school, the reason for his actions had never been mentioned. Now, he presumed that it was because no one had known. "He wouldn't want you to die." Remus said finally, carefully choosing his words.

Evan's eyes slowly slid back to Remus, fixing him with a look that screamed humourlessly, 'you really think so?' With a sniff, he looked down at his arms, his fingers reaching up to itch at the buttons of the pale blue and white pyjama top. "I hate pyjamas," he muttered eventually, some more tears rolling down his face.

"I hate seeing you here." Remus retorted, brushing his fingers over Evan's cheeks to dry them.

"Regulus doesn't love me anymore," Evan whispered, closing his eyes against the pain, but leaning into the other boy's touch. "And I don't blame him, I'm falling apart at the seams, I can't kill myself for fuck's sake!" He hissed the last words, acidic and bitter, full of self loathing. He was disgusting.

Remus frowned, his chest tightening. It took every ounce of his self control to not wrap his arms around Evan, to hold him like a child. "Evan," he began slowly, wringing his hands. "I may not care for Regulus, but beyond the hatred I know he loves you. He's far too smart to give you up, even I can see that."

Evan sighed raggedly, once angered expression dissolving into one of pure misery. He turned his face away from the window, back to Remus, before crawling over the sheets and tentively resting his head on the other boy's shoulder, closing his eyes and letting his legs curl underneath him as his knees pressed against the matress.

Remus shifted on the bed, the metal springs creaking underneath his weight as he moved himslef onto it. Wrapping his arms around Evan's torso, he gathered the boy closer to him protectively. "You scared me." he whispered, his words choked.

"I'm sorry," Evan breathed, nuzzling his nose into the older boy's neck as his arms tentively came up to wrap loosely around his back, hissing a little as pain shot up his wrists.

Remus didn't respond, what was there to say? Kissing the flash of white scalp that peeked through the thick black hair, Remus sighed, stroking at the scratchy material covering Evan's back. "Just promise me that you'll never do this again." he whispered, his hands ceasing their trails.

"Never." Evan pulled back to rest his forehead against Remus', clamping his eyes shut. "I swear." He meant it, he really did. Or at least, he wanted to mean it. For Remus. For Regulus. Leaning forward, he pressed a soft kiss against Remus' lips. "I'm sorry," he said again, after pulling back, forehead still pressed against the Gryffindor's.

Remus sighed, shaking his head, his skin moving against Evan's. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for." he said sincerely, planting a small kiss on the red lips before him. Unwrapping his arms, Remus moved away, never actually moving. "You need to sleep."

Nodding, Evan let Remus untangle himself before reluctantly pulling away, licking his lips and settling back against his pillow. His eyelashes fluttered for a moment, before he finally let himself close his eyes, keeping the image of Remus' soft face looking over him imprinted in the back of his mind to lull him to sleep.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic